I recently wrote another article for the Hippocrates Health Institute and their magazine. The theme for May was on Sex and my article can be found here on page 26-27. You may also find it under my publications category on the right side of the page. There you will also find my previous issue.
The title of my article was “Sexual Healing”. In it I describe how sex and the act of feeling sexual has ebbed and flowed in my time dealing with UC. My sexual appetite has come and gone as my body has left me feeling disconnected to my sexual needs. At times I have found myself searching for my sexuality, as I have endured the changes that my body underwent during bouts of flare-ups.
Having an illness places the act of sex and the opportunity to share an intimate relationship with someone at a distance. It is not only that you yourself are so focused on the healing process, but it is also that as a sensory being we find that this is one of the first areas that shuts down when our body feels under threat. Sex is afterall a most truthful and honest moment shared between two people.
Finding ways to talk about your sexual relationship with your partner is paramount to the healing process. It is part of what builds the trust and honesty necessary for intimacy. I regard my sexual “self” as much a part of any other part of my body and mind that requires attention and effort if I am going to continue on my journey of healing.
Should you find yourself feeling at a distance to your partner and not wanting to engage in a conversation about how your illness has affected your sexual relationship, know that this is normal and may require you both to approach it with slowly and with care. You may find that your attention to your sexual health will surface more readily as you become stronger.
Begin with a conversation with yourself and then find an opportunity to sit with one another in that private moment of your closeness and open the door to a discussion about your intimacy.
I think you may find your partner relieved that you have acknowledged your sexual relationship as central to the healing you are doing together.
How has your level of intimacy fluctuated with your health?
